How did you do with Part 1? Do you have a clear vision of what you are creating now?
This is going to require some work and planning but it will make the road smoother and clearer as you proceed.
Once you have your framework ready the next obstacle you will deal with is your brain.
This is your biggest hurdle and the one you need to focus on the most. Your brain is the only thing between you and everything you want.
If you commit to managing your mind you will be unstoppable.
The first step to managing your mind is understanding what’s going on in there.
It’s mandatory to write these things down. Getting them out of your brain onto paper turns it into a tangible thing that you can work with instead of this vague thing that keeps happening to you.
Close your eyes and meditate on your goal.
Notice all your thoughts about your goal, positive and negative.
Notice in particular the ones that say why that goal is hard or why it can’t happen. What things you think people might say about your goal, their cynicism, your cynicism.
Write them all down.
The thoughts that are not supportive are your Limiting Beliefs. All the can’t, what ifs, shoulds, shouldn’t, it’s hard because, I want to BUT etc.
Get acquainted with your Limiting Beliefs.
Inspect each one and ask yourself:
Is it 100% true? Just answer with a simple Yes or No.
We really start to believe our thoughts if we think them enough times but that doesn’t mean they are factual. Be willing to question your thoughts.
Does thinking this thought bring you closer or further away from your goal? If something isn’t helping you move forward it’s time to rethink it.
If you want to delve more deeply into inspecting your thoughts read Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie. Her work is simple and yet, completely magical. She also has a podcast and YouTube channel where you can see examples of her going through this with people.
Time to erase those Limiting Beliefs.
There are many ways to do this. Byron Katie’s Work is one way.
I also really like Emotional Freedom Technique aka Tapping. Those are both things you can do on your own with a little guidance from the internet. EFT uses acupuncture points while thinking of the thing you are trying to eliminate. This decreases the stress level around those thoughts and helps you neutralize the negative reaction.
Neuro-Emotional Technique (NET) is incredible for erasing limiting beliefs and old thought patterns. This is something that you go see someone for (like me). You can find a practitioner here.
Once you feel less attached to your Limiting Belief you can choose to not think it anymore.
Replace your Limiting Belief with something new.
The way to choose a new thought is to think about what you want. Think about how you would need to feel in order to accomplish that thing. Some feelings I like to use are:
I know that when I feel those specific feelings I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.
You’re probably wondering how you make yourself feel those things on purpose. You can! All you have to do is pick the thoughts that create those feelings.
Every thought creates a feeling.
“Watch your thoughts, for they will become actions. Watch your actions, for they’ll become… habits. Watch your habits for they will forge your character. Watch your character, for it will make your destiny.” – Margaret Thatcher
The one step Maggie misses in this quote is how your thoughts become actions.
We act the way we do because of how we feel.
Our feelings drive our actions. And our thoughts create our feelings.
If you can shift your thoughts to ones that create positive feelings you will be well on your way.
This does require practice and vigilance. It is not necessarily easy but it’s like working out. You don’t get muscles the first day. You need to keep doing it.
It is doable.
Once you choose the feelings you want to feel ask yourself, “what would someone who feels that way think?”
For example if I wanted to feel resourceful I might think some of the following thoughts:
“I can figure things out”
“If I don’t know something I can find someone who does and ask them”
“I can do research on the internet”
“I am capable of learning”
Once you have a few new thoughts written down check in and see which of those you actually believe for yourself. Those are the ones you will use as your new thoughts.
You will now monitor your mind with a fine-tooth comb.
Every time you catch yourself having a Limiting Belief like, “ugh I don’t know how to do that!”
YOU STOP YOURSELF.
Then replace it with the new thought you believe like, “I can figure this out and if I can’t, I’ll ask someone that’s done it before.”
Repeat that new thought to yourself several times throughout the day.
You will start to create a new pathway in your brain that will foster action which is conducive to you producing the results you want in your life.
In Part 3 of this series, How to Set and Achieve Goals: the next step after setting intentions, we’re going to discuss how to manage and overcome any pitfalls you will encounter.
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Step 1 – Write down all your thoughts about your goal.
Step 2 – Question each Limiting Belief.
Step 3 – Erase the Limiting Beliefs.
Step 4 – Create new beliefs that support your goal.
Step 5 – Practice thinking those new beliefs.
Biker Photograph by Bill Dickinson
Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie
Byron Katie’s The Work
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) aka Tapping
Neuro-Emotional Technique Practitioner Finder
Carmen’s awesome newsletter
What are some of your Limiting Beliefs and what will you replace them with? Let me know in the comments.